I am traveling with my son – taking a few days in a Lake Michigan beach town, a few days in Chicago.
A few days. It’s not much, especially when we’ve not been away for a few years. But it’s what we’ve got, and we’ll make the most of it.
He’s a patient kid who knows that his mom has a flexible job that allows her to have adventures like this, but that demands her attention at often inopportune times. I have a lot of guilt about that, as I think most parents do. It’s become especially acute lately.
Torn, down the middle, every day.
While we were in the Michigan beach town, we took turns blowing up a big floaty that we bought at the Five and Dime (they still have one there, and it’s as glorious as you remember). We took it out on the water, him tucking his massive 5’10” frame into this little yellow inner tube, bobbing around on the waves, a delightfully relaxed expression on his face. I held onto the side, my head resting right by his ear. We talked about everything and nothing while waves splashed my neck.
I walked the beach, searching for rocks; my specialty is finding fossilized agatized coral – the remains of prehistoric sea creatures that under the right circumstances and over millennia are transformed into gemstones with gorgeous geometric patterns. It’s not terribly common (nor terribly uncommon), but it practically jumps into my hands.
A friend who is far more knowledgeable about such things told me once that the stones that are supposed to be with you, find you.
I suppose it makes sense that these stones find me. These days we all feel pressed and pressured, subjected to unreasonable weight, tossed about and scratched up so much we become smooth. My hope is that through the effort we’ll be transformed into something more precious, more beautiful, like agatized coral – but I think we all worry that we’re just being broken down into sand.
Some corals that found me on the beach. (The top stone is not coral but instead is what’s often called “fossil soup” – a fun find and great conversation starter for 7-year olds.)
Friend, we are all trying to be the best at everything right now. The best people, the best friends, the best parents, the best partners, the best defenders, the best advocates, the best activists. The best.
But as it turns out, trying to stay informed and engaged and involved and active while staying sane in the midst of a fascist takeover isn’t easy.
There are plenty of columns on the need to “take a break,” and I appreciate their intention and advice. I wish I could follow it. But, for most of us, truly taking a break is simply not possible or practical. Honestly, I don’t even know what taking a true break would look like.
How do you “take a break” when you’re surrounded? When you’re surrounded by the regular everyday responsibilities and stressors of being a human in 2025 – but now alongside the intense pressure of being an empathetic person who understands what’s happening in our country?
How do you take a break in a world where we’re in constant fight-or-flight mode, bathed in adrenaline which taxes our bodies and our minds. It’s not remotely healthy, but checking out it also not an option, because that results in the stress and panic of feeling behind, tinted with a unique sense of guilt. Is it survivor’s guilt? There must be a word for it.
I don’t have the answer to how to manage this moment, and don’t pretend to. And so, here I am, writing to you in the few moments I have in our Chicago hotel room, after a day of visiting friends and sightseeing. My son is decompressing. In a few hours we’ll go for a nighttime Chicago walk, and he’ll tell me all about which skyscrapers Spiderman would prefer and why. I’ll get him ice cream, or maybe chocolate (or both) at the Ghirardelli’s near my old office building.
We don’t have much time, but we do have some; we’re lucky that way. I’m trying to make every moment count – both for the people I love, and for myself.
Because part of caring for myself is appreciating that while part of me needs to walk the beach to look for rocks and visit my old Chicago haunts – another part of me needs to stay engaged and active and informed. I cannot fully relax without both needs being met. That makes rest a complicated equation.
But at least for the few days we are away, I’m taking a deep breath. I’m doing my best to stay present, even when my brain wants to go sideways and I twitch for my phone. I’m saying yes more than no, stopping to admire the flowers and the butterflies, pointing out the pinpricks of light on the Lake that look like flickering diamonds, and taking my time.
It feels luxurious to not rush, to bob around on the Lake in a yellow floaty, to collect rocks and stories and memories.
That’s enough for now, for today.
I’ll tackle tomorrow, tomorrow.
Let’s get to work.
Lake Michigan; photos don’t do it justice. I hope you can hear the waves. I tried to turn the volume up for you.
Actions for the Week of August 12, 2025
Friend, things may be heavy – but you can lighten that load by doing something small – a “small deed” – to bring about the world that you want to see. In doing so we tell the world, the universe, our leaders – and most importantly, ourselves – that we will not go quietly into that good night.
I call it Action Therapy.
That’s why in each Tuesday post I share a few “small things” – usually a Small Thing to Read, a Small Event to Attend, and a Small Call to Make or Action to Take. My intention here is to give you actions you can tuck into your week with ease – and know that you’re doing something today to make tomorrow better.
Join me in doing so. It matters.
Small Event(s) to Attend: August 16 Day of Action & August 13 One Million Rising
First, Trump is trying to steal the 2026 election by rigging the system and changing electoral maps. He started in Texas, but he won’t stop there. A group of coalition partners across the country are fighting back. Join a stop the Trump Takeover event near you on Saturday, August 16th.
Find one near you here: https://www.fightthetrumptakeover.com/?SQF_source=indivisible#events
Second, One Million Rising is a national effort to train one million people in the strategic logic and practice of non-cooperation, as well as the basics of community organizing and campaign design. This is how we build people power that can’t be ignored. You’re invited to join—and lead.
In this session (the third of three) you’ll get plugged into Indivisible’s next national campaign work. Register here: https://www.mobilize.us/nokings/event/803953/?utm_source=indivisible&utm_medium=_20250811
Small Thing to Read: They’re Going After Obergefell
This fall, SCOTUS will hear a case that explicitly asks them to overturn the decision that extended marriage rights to same-sex couples nationwide.
You probably remember Kim Davis, the county clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to a gay couple. She is now appealing a jury verdict about that case, in which she argues that her First Amendment protection for free exercise of religion means she’s immune from personal liability for denying marriage licenses.
This is definitely one to watch.
Read more here: https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/supreme-court-formally-asked-overturn-landmark-same-sex/story?id=124465302
Thanks for reading, friend – I’m glad to see you here! You’re making a difference, I promise.
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Small Deeds Done 